Russian Influence revealed in SSA election

Joseph Gulotta

Scandal hits Campus as the Stout Director of Intelligence released its report, which unequivocally stated that Russian hackers had partaken in a multifaceted attempt to influence the 2016 election of the 2016-2017 Stout Student Association’s Executive Board. This report came as a shock to the students at UWStout, as the integrity and position the Executive Board had never been called into question in the school’s 125-year history prior to this point.

Students were very surprised about this revelation regarding the recent election. Abby Wallaby, a freshman on campus, said, “I never would have thought Putin cared who oversaw our student government.” However, she couldn’t be more wrong. The intelligence report states that Putin saw this attack as a form of payback. “There is no doubt that Putin was upset with the way the small Wisconsin university was growing,” the report stated.

russian hacking

Another huge shock to the students on campus was the existence of a Stout Director of Intelligence. Marcus Martin, a senior on campus, shared this: “Director of Intelligence? What on earth does a Director of Intelligence do at a university? Have we reached the point in post-secondary education where we are forced to spy on one another? And if so, where do I apply for a position in this administration?”

It was rather strange to see this report come out from the Director of Intelligence. Investigations into the university have brought the public little information as to who this director may be, nor what type of intelligence is currently being gathered. Stoutonia attempted to reach out to the SSA, but they refused to comment on the results of this report or the implications of corruption that spawn from it. Whatever happens going forward will be an intriguing story. For now, everyone on campus seem to be more engrossed in the existence of an Intelligence Office at the small town university than the scandal it has unearthed.