The Scopes

Ryan Cook-

Aries (March 21 – April 19)

  • Your brilliant mind is matched with an equally intense depression. Pushing others away is only a short-term solution. They care about you more than you know.

Taurus (April 20 – May 20)

  • Others always seem to be needing your help, and you’re never one to disappoint. Though to be fair, you could benefit from being a bit more patient.

Gemini (May 20 – June 20)

  • Spineless, whiny, pathetic. Those words may have described you before, but now they apply slightly less. You still have a lot of growing up to do, and that is okay.

Cancer (June 21 – July 22)

  • While your job may not be ideal, family will always support you (even if they’re occasionally disappointing). Fortunately, wine helps with that last part.

Leo (July 23 – August 22)

  • By getting into the heads of everyone you encounter, one could say that you are everywhere all at once. Whether that is good or bad depends on who you are with.

Virgo (August 23 – September 22)

  • Everyone might be fooled by your sass and sarcasm, but deep down you have a heart of gold. It does not matter what brought you into this world; you are not a mistake.

Libra (September 23 – October 22)

  • Addiction may have you looking rough around the edges, but there is no better person to have at a party. Your endearing quirks make up for your strange behaviors.

Scorpio (October 23 – November 21)

  • You may not be the brightest, strongest or bravest person around, but at least your golf skills have improved. The next step is taking those skills from the kitchen to the course.

Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21)

  • Don’t listen to what others say about the tale you wrote. The bar scene was hilarious and definitely was not forced. It might sound insincere, but please write more.

Capricorn (December 22 – January 19)

  • After saving your extended family from a broken elevator, you will be cemented in their lives as a great cousin. What you learned in Brooklyn will help you forever.

Aquarius (January 20 – February 19)

  • It may be unclear at times how long you have known your friends, but that doesn’t mean that your friendship has any less value. Even if they shoot you, they still love you.

Pisces (February 20 – March 20)

  • Everyone might underestimate and patronize you because of your canine-ness, but they won’t be laughing once you have gained super-intelligence.